


torgo discovers the true meaning of blaseball

by songs_for_sentences



Category: Blaseball (Video Game), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Genre: Gen, also just sorry in general, i'm not actually a blaseball fan so sorry if i got anything wrong (it's probably a lot)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songs_for_sentences/pseuds/songs_for_sentences
Summary: Torgo goes to the blaseball stadium in search of a wife. He comes out with so much more.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	torgo discovers the true meaning of blaseball

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Horsantula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horsantula/gifts).



Torgo wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he walked into the blaseball stadium to look for a wife. Even so, the ominous red clouds circling overhead and the crowd’s whisperings about the capricious whims of gods made him feel the most at home since he’d started his journey, though the emotion was not entirely positive.  
  
He just needed love, he was sure of it. Love strong enough to fill the hole in his chest and heal the burns left on his hand-stump, and then he could put all of this behind him.  
  
But everyone he asked to be his wife in the bleachers just gave him weird looks and scooted away. Torgo sighed forlornly and looked out at the blaseball field. Maybe he was doomed to be a bachelor forever. Maybe he should just give up and try Tinder, whatever that was. Or he could just crawl back to El Paso and—  
  
The projectile that shrieked through the air above Torgo’s head was an ordinary ball, but it may as well have been Cupid’s arrow.  
  
Standing on the pitcher’s mound was the most beautiful woman Torgo had ever seen. She wore a wicked smile and a blood-spattered jersey emblazoned with the number 14. There was something unreadable in her eyes—exhaustion? resignation?—and her fingers looked like hotdogs, but that didn’t stop her from striking out batter after batter after batter. She took Torgo’s breath away. She would be the perfect wife.  
  
Torgo had never seen a splort before, so he was really confused for the rest of the game, but he was happy when they killed God and even happier when Jaylen made it out alive. He stood up on shaking goat legs and dashed out of the stadium as soon as the game was over.  
  
Jaylen was out on the lawn, already signing blaseball caps and people’s babies, but the crowd wasn’t impenetrable yet. He sprinted up to her and got down one one misshapen knee.  
“Will you,” he gasped, “marry me?”  
  
Jaylen got a pained look on her face. “That’s the third time someone’s asked me that today.”  
  
Torgo’s heart sank. “Oh. Sorry.”  
  
“But I‘ll sign something if you’d like,” said Jaylen quickly. She still had on that terrifying smile. Torgo could see the pain behind it.  
  
He wordlessly held out his walking stick. Jaylen signed the palm and turned to face the next fan, but Torgo shouted, “Wait!”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I just—was wondering what it takes to kill God. How can you go back? How do you face what controls you?” A few tears leaked from his eyes and trickled down his beard.  
  
Jaylen laughed, a brighter sound than Torgo had expected. “Got a god of your own to kill, have you? Well. It takes a lot. I died twice and you...lost your hand?"  
  
Torgo nodded and wiped away the tears with his stump, embarrassed. But Jaylen only looked thoughtful.  
  
"Tell you what. If I get out of this blaseball thing in one piece, I'll help you kill that god of yours. But don't give up! I have a feeling you've got a lot of fans cheering for you."  
  
Jaylen tipped her hat and winked at him. Torgo almost died then and there. But he picked up his walking stick and walked away from the stadium, still gazing at Jaylen Hotdogfingers' autograph, and towards whatever fate awaited him.


End file.
